Hello All,
I was reminded by the people in Santa Barbara that they keep informed by reading the blog. My not posting through the summer more than I have is due to things running a little smoother, the pace at which things have been happening or not. I promise to at least tell a little each week if not each day. As things progress I will update immediately.
Chris was out to his good friend's wedding on September 3, 2010. That Friday Michele and I took Chris to Scott’s wedding at Crescent Beach Park and then to the reception in Richmond. Thank you Scott for the Invitation and not forgetting that although Chris can not talk he knows everything around him and showed the emotion during your wedding,
I have found that allot of people have excluded Chris from their lives; I am sure because they do not know how to deal with the change. He is still that same loveable Chris struggling to speak, struggling painstakingly to get movement back to break free from the prison he has been left to.
Please all of you remember when you visit do not make special conditions, treat Chris like Chris; he needs to know that you understand, more so that people see the progress he has made, and not all for nothing.
I can only imagine the pain and loneliness that he experienced trapped inside watching the system try to shut him down and push him aside these last few years. I have felt and lived it, you don’t know what it is like to have one so dear and close to your heart ripped from you all to soon, I not only felt that I lost my son, but my best friend. This is not the end, but the beginning for nothing could have prepared us for this, but we both can see that change is possible and not just for us, but to use what we have learned to help others from the inside out.
But the fights that have been fought, the knowledge that has been consumed and the understanding of brain injury has made me so dam determined to give him every chance and access to all avenues to fight his way back and eventually to tell his story.
It is all to long a road to walk alone, I thank Michele for staying close but for understanding the bond we have and giving me all the room and help I need, she really has been the glue with my family that has kept me together and focused on Chris and his needs.
I recall him telling me how lonely it was at med school and with missing family and friends while in residency away from home. His biggest joy was to return home to be with family and friends he missed so much.
Without being to forward or pushy Chris really does need the support of all of you now, his progress continues each day. You can feel the emotion and passion when someone whom he has not seen or heard from for a while shows up to say hello or help out.
We are getting help from the therapists from GF Strong with our speech needs thanks to Alisa the speech therapist who has worked incredibly hard since Chris was returned home all too soon.
Heather (not our Ponoka Heather who helped start it all) but our home Heather, she has taken the ball passed from Ponoka and carried it well, she has immense insight and feelings of Chris’ needs and pushes each day to strive further working to strengthening him so he can move forward in other areas. Included in the thanks are for Chris' help when I am not there, Joanne and the people at aqua-therapy. More equipment and software I hope will soon be ours to access even if we keep getting turned down by the different ministries for funding as we have been. Some where we will find the funds to get what is needed.
My not being up to date with the information on Chris has reminded me of the phenomenal amount of fantastic people following and keeping tabs on us, again sorry to all of you who check in each day and find nothing new. I will endeavour to be more consistent, I am sure you can appreciate the difficulty with time, watching and fighting the system that Chris can not defend himself against, look after all his needs now and for the future as well trying to work since being home catching up after a couple of years away. I am doing my best and Chris is keeping me on that track. So I will end with a last thank you to all of you and a special thanks to the doctors who worked with Chris who are always there to help and support when needed, you can not put into words what it all means to have that support.
THANK YOU SO MUCH,
Kevin and Chris
2 comments:
Thanks Kevin.
I have probably said and written this more than once, but the one thing I often think about is how Chris' passion and dedication (to name just a couple strengths) to become a doctor took him away from family and friends for so many years. And we all know how much we meant to him and how hard it was for him to leave. And I remember you saying how lonely he was at times while away. Then how happy he was to come home and visit with everyone again, only to now be unable to verbally communicate with everyone. I cannot begin to imagine the frustration, sadness, and loneliness, along with all the other feelings he has gone through over the past almost three years. If we were in awe and admiration of his dedication and commitment when he was away in medical school and residency, there are really no words to describe how we feel now... watching him struggle, watching him gain back his strength and communicating in whatever way, shape, or form that he can.
To reiterate Kevin’s comments, “He is still that same loveable Chris struggling to speak, struggling painstakingly to get movement back...” and he really needs our support.
So if you haven't been in for awhile (or if you are long distance or unable to get in), send a message to Kevin via email or the blog just to check in and say hi. I know Chris would love to hear from you and to know that you are thinking of him!
Kevin: Please pass this message on to Chris for me... My long workdays over the past three weeks are now done and I'll see you this weekend. Keep up the awesome progress and I'll see you soon.
Love, Auntie Janie
Dear Chris and Kevin,
Just so you know that although we are not sharing the same rehabilitation centre anymore, we haven't stopped thinking about you and our prayers have been always with you guys. We miss you. We miss our visits to Chris' room and chats with you Kevin. There is much still to learn from the BI field but you have been keeping us all well informed. We wish that there were more positive stuff to learn but unfortunately it only adds to the hard truth. This is a journey that no one wishes to take, particularly when the one suffering from it is your own child, the struggle of taking in the new reality to transform it to a “new normal” is a painful one. You as a parent take the pain of two people and that’s why the love and care from others become so important. Being able to give and receive love is at the very core of human nature, we need to be loved but we need others to know that we also keep them in our hearts. I know Kevin what you feel when you say that allot of people have excluded Chris from their lives, I have experienced that also with my son, I think this is the hardest part, when life goes on for friends and others but your child stays behind and not many turn back to check anymore and leave him waiting. Sorry for not keeping in touch as we struggle with our own recovery. I hope that one day we can make that trip to BC to visit Chris but in the meantime please tell him how much we love him and miss him and to keep his spirits high, have faith because we know that miracles exist and he is one in progress.
Love,
Ana and Brian
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